Raising a daughter who loves the Lord and relies on His grace is a very new journey for me. I began praying for my daughter, Anais, before she was conceived. I began writing her notes before I even knew her name. Every day brings new joys, and new struggles. I hope to encourage other mamas out there to remain strong—to laugh at the small things, to pray during the tough times, and to love always.

I wrote this letter in 2015—years before I was pregnant—in anticipation of the hope and joy of being a mother one day. This is the letter that began them all.

I’m starting this conversation with anxiety and anticipation in my heart. I don’t even know what my Creator has planned, but I do know that He has finally placed it on my heart. It’s finally time. And I am both equally excited and terrified.

I am going to be a mother.

The tears fill my eyes as I type that tiny sentence. My heart races and my breath becomes short.

I don’t know who you are, sweet little one. I am not pregnant with you. I do not know if you currently live in this precious world.

All I know is that I am finally opening my arms to the most amazing title I will ever hold in my life: Mother.

And perhaps I am even jumping the gun on this one. Has God granted me this gift? Has God placed one of His most precious children in my hands? Am I to be the one to love, nurture, and cherish His beloved?

I do not know. All I know is that I am ready and willing. And I am scared and frightened.

Am I good enough? Will you love me? Can I give you the guidance you need? Can I help you to become the person you are meant to be? With His help, I pray the answer is yes.

So I sit. And pray. And wonder.

How am I so blessed to have the opportunity to call you my child?
And then I am so aware of His love for me.
Beloved, you are mine. And I am yours.
I cannot wait to meet you.

Photo credit: Kayla Barker