Guys. I’m tired. The kind of tired where I just want to sit down and scream. Or cry. But it’s also the kind of tired where I feel guilty for being tired. I should be able to muster enough strength to do all of this, right? Because, you know, mom guilt.

I’m a single, working mom who is currently trying to also be daycare and stay-at-home mom all at once. And I’m not alone—I know so other many mamas out there wearing multiple hats and feeling like they just aren’t keeping up, therefore they are failing. Every. Single. Day.

But, seriously, how in the world are we expected to keep functioning? Something’s got to give, and personally, right now I can physically feel all the strings coming loose as I try to hold it together on work calls and emails, and in front of my daughter.

About a week ago I posted in our neighborhood Facebook group—introducing myself and looking to meet other mamas. I have a tendency of writing from the heart and then second guessing whether it was TMI (this post will definitely fall in that category, too, but I’m just leaning into it). The response was amazing, though. Clearly, other mamas had so many similar thoughts and emotions weighing heavy, and it hit a chord.

While I was happy to not have embarrassed myself, it also made me realize that we are NOT okay. Sure, the world is NOT okay. The USA is not okay. But, quite frankly, mamas are most definitely, absolutely NOT OKAY. We are drowning and we smile. We have screaming kids staring at us to fix everything. So, we smile behind our exhaustion and wave our magic wands to make everything better. Because in case you’re not a mama and didn’t know—YES—mamas are totally gifted a magic wand from a unicorn bedazzled in stardust and rainbows as soon as our child is placed in our arms. It’s the mom magic behind everything.

Sadly, magic or not, we hold ourselves to that standard. And we guilt ourselves when we inevitably fall short.

Mamas…I hear you. I see you. I FEEL you. I AM YOU. Beyond 2020, and the shift into 2021, and everything that is going on—were we ever okay? Sure, the past 10 months have placed an enormous weight that would crush anyone (yet here we are—still pushing through like Hercules). What I want you to pause and ask, though, is how much were you trying to manage on your own? How much were you suppressing your own needs in 2019 and prior? How often did you smile and say, “Yep, I’m fine—everything is great!”

Ladies, I am imploring you take care of yourself spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Whether someone calls you mama or not, you are critical to so many amazing beings in your life. You are a strength that is immeasurable, but even you need a moment.

So, as I am literally sitting with a glass of wine next to me, I am asking you to take a deep breath and give yourself some much-needed recognition. Kids are covered in mud? Cool—they had fun today! Laundry is piling way too high? Amazing! You guys have clothes to wear! There’s food all over the floor and dishes piling high? You go, mama! You FED your family today.

There’s a beautiful balance between positivity and negativity. And, it often takes one step back and a slight tilt of the head in one direction. Whether you’re married or single, have kids or not—life is HARD! And sometimes wading into the hard and finally ACKNOWLEDGING IT is exactly what you need to move forward. So, get on with that ugly cry, or that scream, or finally spill your guts to your closest friend.

And then smile.

Because you are here today. And one minute from now is an opportunity to start breathing a bit more easily.

And if you trip a bit? Laugh at yourself!

And then try the minute after to collect yourself. Each step is an opportunity, but you absolutely have to acknowledge yourself first.

So, grab my hand if you need a little balance. Let’s be messy and real, and fun, and charming, and loving, and everything all at once—because it’s true. And honest. And it helps us to give ourselves a little bit more grace in the process.

Let’s do this, ladies!